Compassion and Understanding –

Oct. 14, 2020 – Dry January, Sober October, no longer full of shame Thursday. I have been in recovery for three years and nearly three months and haven’t had a drink since that last pint of gin. Compared to some of my sober friends, I am a rookie; compared to the person trying to wrap their head around the idea of sobriety while not quite ready to admit to themselves they have a problem, I may seem like an impossibility. Staying sober felt impossible for me too, but I found ways to string 1,171 days together as of writing this. I am the person who makes a choice every day to not drink. I don’t always love that choice, but I don’t love the power of addiction either. Sobriety means something different to each person in recovery, but here are a few things I’ve learned along the way when it comes to being the sober friend.

From playdates to date nights, alcohol is usually the center of most people’s activities. Mommy wine culture and “Daddy needs a beer” sentiment starts at the baby shower and wraps its way through all aspects of parenting. I used booze as a joke and crutch to get through my early parenting days, too. And, parent or not, plenty of people imbibe to add a layer of enjoyment to an evening alone or with friends.

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