1,763,901 views on YouTube – WTF? – 

April 1, 2020  – “I spent the next six years continuing to bottle in any emotional pain that I could while I was also snowballing into a bigger and bigger point of fame. Months before I started my YouTube channel, my best friend died, and I was spending the days filming and the nights staring at the ceiling, bottling in the depression,” Mongeau said in the video.

Mongeau shared that she went on to experience a number of abusive relationships and opted to numb her pain rather than address it.

“Ever since I was 15 years old, I struggled with numbing things out with anything,” Mongeau said, adding that it wasn’t until she turned 20 that she realize what she was doing.

She shared that she didn’t want to get help “because my life was perfect.”

All throughout that time, Mongeau says she was being “scrutinized” by the public.

@People